So I went into it with the knowledge of the reviews of AICN fresh in my mind. If you want to know, they panned the hell out of it and made it seem worse than the Tom Cruise remake of War of the Worlds.
Now I admit - there were fart jokes and parental stoner jokes and plot holes and stupid pills and incontinence references and dogs humping each other and not-dogs humping legs and a few more stupid pills and giant balls (and I don't mean John Turturro's) and "sucking the sack" commentary that...really had no point. Other than simply showing that Michael Bay likes movies like Disaster Movie. There were some fairly decent sized plot holes, as well; characters knowing things they simply couldn't because they'd never met. And there was Car Car Binks, as well; I thought we'd gotten past that kind of racist BS in big movies.
Guess not.
Yeah, the Twins, they spend WAY too much time on the screen and have the stereotyped caricature portrayals of African Americans, from a point in history I'd rather not see plumbed like this. Mix rap-style movements and speech patterns, a southern-hick-negro accent, a big "blingy" gold tooth (not kidding,
see here, notable on the green one), giant buck teeth, slanted face...well, get a good look at greeny there. See the ears, face, all that...
I think you see it too. Oh, did I mention they's illituhit? And fight with each other a lot (okay, that's believable) but still, come ON guys.
Anyway. Enough of that, it makes me sick thinking about it. As for the movie itself...
Thought it was great, otherwise. Good plot, a bit long but they brought a lot of characters in. And did a good job spanning the world with it. Kudos on the location of the Autobot Base, since...I can't think of a better location myself. I wish I HAD thought of it when I tossed my one-off treatment for a sequel after seeing the first one. They did go with a couple ideas I had, though I wish they'd had a lot more Sam-Optimus-Lennox interaction. They did a good job initially bringing Captain Lennox into the first movie as a family guy; he could have been someone a bit more reliable for Sam to turn to for advice on love and carrying on. (Seriously, with parents like that...) And Optimus for leadership, and WHY we fight. Touched on, but just a little.
There were a lot of changes I'd make. But I'd keep several other things, namely the awesome fight scenes. Three MAJOR battles in the movie, one in the beginning, one in the middle, and one thirty minute (I think) monster at the end that left me on the edge of my seat and gained an out-loud "oh sh**" at a certain point. And
the fight at the end of the movie was worth the price of admission and then some. Everything I saw on screen that made me want to see it on action, I got to see.
Bay's also made his unwatchable fight scenes a little more watchable. There's quite a few long shots and aerial shots that give a REAL epic feel to it, and he's not quite as shakywobblyROBOTNINJAS as the first one.
I just wish...that wasn't the only thing he'd improved on. Either way, good movie, if you're in the military at all you'll enjoy the ride even more than the first one, and I...probably would watch it on DVD. Just to see deleted scenes and whatnot.